Holy expletives it’s cold. It’s just ridiculously, stupidly, face-freezingly cold. (DC FRIENDS, HEADS UP: If you see a homeless person outside, call this hotline and someone from the UPO will come and get them and take them to a shelter: 1-800-535-7252.) A few years ago, a good friend of mine and her husband were posted to Moscow for one of his foreign services tours, and from what she told me, it’s about as cold in DC now as it was there. To celebrate this truly upsetting occurrence, I give you Kenny Ball & His Jazzmen.
FUN FACT: This is how you say “Oh my God it’s cold” in Russian: “Боже мой, что это холодно.” Got that? What, you need help with Cyrillic? Jeez, needy needy. OK, here it is in our alphabet: “Bozhe moy, chto eto kholodno.” If that helps you get a date, you better tell them who gave you that line.