I’d like to learn how to fish.  I don’t really know why.  I guess it just seems like something a normal, calm, reasonably happy person would do in their spare time.  I don’t know whether I’d classify my hobbies as such, given I don’t classify myself as normal or calm.  Come to think of it, I don’t really know what my hobbies are.

The dictionary defines a hobby as “an activity done regularly in one’s leisure time for pleasure.”  By that logic, the following things could be hobbies of mine:

• Sleeping
• Holding a wedge of cheese and eating it like an apple with the fridge door open, at night, with the lights off
• Avoiding Swiffering my floors
• Noodling aimlessly on my piano
• Walking aimlessly around D.C.
• Staring off into space
• Taking a Buzzfeed quiz when I should be [fill in anything remotely more useful than taking a Buzzfeed quiz]
• Reading a New Yorker profile of someone interesting, regretting my degrees and career choices, frantically opening my computer, and searching for jobs in the profile-ee’s field
• Daydreaming of how great life would be as a [insert profession of New Yorker profile-ee]
• Looking at real estate I’ll never be able to afford unless I abandon reason, ethics, and hope

Anyway.  Here’s a song about a trout.