It’s Saturday. By now, you’re probably back from wherever you spent the holidays, or your family has finally left your house. You’ve woken up, with great relief, in your own bed, in your own living quarters, with no one to deal with and no one’s agenda to fulfill but your own. Maybe you’ll go to a yoga class wearing one of those low-cut tank tops that make your grandmother sad! Maybe you’ll build that Lego set all wrong! Maybe you’ll finally unleash your inner Caligula and diligently plow your way through the food and booze leftovers in your underwear as your blissfully ignorant parents spend their drive home discussing how great it is to see you looking so put together! Whatever you decide, today is all yours, my friend. You do you. So here’s a song to celebrate your liberation from forced happiness over dippy presents (“A ‘festive’ red and green cheese grater! Wow!”) and ossified holiday traditions that no one really enjoys but everyone keeps up because, well, it’s the holidays.